Live in the Moment Cling to the Future

Today has been a little trying.  Most of the day has been spent trying not to gag or think too much about food.  I  made it through the day, so far, without throwing up.  This is an accomplishment in and of itself, however, I have not felt well today.

I am weak, easily feel lightheaded and quite queasy. I am sure I am not eating as good as I should.  I know I am not getting enough liquids in.  Yet, I find myself comforted by the fact that I got some in, that I ate and that I didn't throw up.

Small victories.

It is important to cling tenaciously to the small victories.  To not let go.  To stay positive and to persevere.

It is difficult to push forward when everything within you is begging to stay still, to sleep longer, to not move.  Yet there are the moments when you must move and with "the must" seems to come the strength.  The strength seems proportional to the necessity.

For this I am grateful.

If any of you who are reading this are overwhelmed in your life, with your load, your worries or your cares, I am convinced that this is a truism not limited to my pregnancy.  The strength will be proportional to the necessity.  Keep pressing on, persevering, pushing ahead.  God gives the strength needed, when it is needed.

It took everything in me to ride today.  I didn't really want to ride.  Thank you Shelby (my wonderful groom) for not knowing I didn't want to ride and consistently showing up and tacking my horse.  If I had had to tack her myself, I would have observed.

Sometimes there is something to be gained by just feeling the pain, the discomfort, the lack of motivation and doing it anyway.  In our culture we are way too easily talked out of struggle into ease and comfort.  We must fight against the unseen force that would draw us back down into the land of mediocre.  To gain anything worth gaining there will be struggle and fight and a need to push against the desire to take the easy way out.

I figure this first trimester is training.  I am planning on (God willing) having this little one all natural.  I don't suspect it will be easy, but I am convinced that in most cases it is possible and preferable.  I am not against necessary interventions when necessary.  However, much like our society's love of ease and comfort, the natural birthing process has been replaced by pre-planned c-sections scheduled with tummy tucks.  After all we wouldn't want to have to work to push the little munchkin into the world or work to get our perfect body back.  This desire for ease is counter productive because the important things in life, like character cannot be bought and there is no easy way to gain a good one.

Ok, enough of me waxing philosophical.  Bottom line I am trying to stay positive and keep my eye to the future, while living enough in the present to not be overwhelmed by three plus more weeks minimum of feeling crummy.