I have been startled at times by my sweet little one's apparent confusion regarding mom and dad's intentions. I realize, in part, we are probably just dealing with a stage of development that is trying out the "no" word and other various versions on non compliance with requests.
About a month and a half ago we had a great laugh out loud moment.
At our house we tend to have a no thank you serving policy. This means that food that is being refused must still have one to two bites eaten. Now we tend to be generous in what we offer in the first place. I am not expecting my cute little one with one to two molars per side to eat salad greens in salad form, or anything like that, but we do encourage the tasting of most veggies and fruits that have the appropriate chew-ability for our little one.
He actually eats quite well and has a variety of favorites that are good healthy food. He loves beans, broccoli, green smoothies, almost all fruit with a special love of strawberries, cantaloupe, mango, apples, grapes, pineapple and watermelon. He likes potatoes regular or sweet. Anyhow, he pretty much is pretty easy going about food.
The other thing we have done to encourage a greater variety being consumed, and not just his favorites, is to use a bit of bribery. I figure we have the rest of our lives to develop intrinsic motivation. We bribe with strawberries, watermelon, nuts and raisins or whatever is the day's favorite. Anyhow, it works like this. He has eaten a variety of food but has eaten mostly his favorites and left the 2nd and 3rd favorites and is asking for more of his favorite. To which we respond "ok I will get you ____ when you eat 2 bites of _____." Usually, he will say no. To which I smile and respond, "ok that is fine, you don't have to have ______" (more of your favorite). I then return to what I am doing and the choice is left with him. He can eat 2 bites and have more of his favorite or he can choose not to and be done.
We don't usually do repeats of a meal except cereal, which he will ask for every single meal, or at least 2x's a day. If he doesn't finish all his cereal I ask him if he would like it to go in the fridge. Usually he says yes, so in it goes. He is so excited to be allowed to have cereal a 2nd time that day(he can have the leftovers at the next meal, but that is usually it for the day for cereal).
So now that I have laid the ground work for the story, and lost probably most of my readers ;) I turn to our crazy laughing moment.
One evening we decided to have waffles with lots of various types of fruit on top. We had cut up fresh strawberries and mango and thrown in some blueberries and poured some maple syrup (the real stuff) over the top. It was super yummy. When we finished our meal there was juice in the bottom of the bowl, you know a fruit syrup developed from the fruit and maple syrup mixture. It was so yummy I just knew little love would love this...so I offered him some.
Ok, did I mention he is 2? So let's just say it didn't quite go as I originally pictured it. You know where the mom kindly offers to give her sweet little child a bite of something delicious and he is excited, tries it and is profoundly grateful? It didn't go like that.
Now, I probably should have just let it go...but it was sooooo good. I just knew he would love it so I participated in a moment of pooh bear torture, you know the type, where you, as a parent decide that this particular mole hill is the mountain you are going to conquer or die on? So I continue to push that he needs to, at least try a taste. To which there is much wailing and gnashing of teeth. Yet, I persisted and finally he tasted a tiny little taste. It sounded a bit like this "waaaa, nooooo, waaa, noooo, noooo" shaking of head on floor, "noooo, moore? More!" (except more is more like moar)
We were laughing pretty hard, but this led into a pretty serious discussion on our little one's perception of us.
Now I can say, while we do insist on eating a bite or two, I do think there is plenty of great food out there that is healthy. There is no need to offer the least favorites and insist that he must come to adore those. I love food. I want my family to enjoy eating. I want food to be a pleasure not a battle. I want it to be tasty, good for us and beautiful. I love food.
I could be wrong but I can't place where he has gotten this wrong perception. I mean, other than the fact that he is 2 and 2 likes to say no? Anyhow, he definitely responded like he thought we were offering him dog food, or something we knew he would hate.
Immediately, a question developed...When was the last time my Heavenly Father offered me something, and I threw myself on the ground whining and moaning no, assuming the worst? Certainly I don't do that, do I?
The picture doesn't mesh with reality. After all, I have not found that my Father gives bad gifts. I have found Him good and generous, and found even His denials to be in my best interest. Yet, in the moment, truthfully, I probably resemble my 2 year old.
I can speculate how I ended up in this state, but I guess the easiest explanation is I have accepted a false picture of my Father. I am acting on a false picture rather than clinging to what I know to be true. Now perhaps, it would be a stretch to expect my 2 year old to be able to reason through mom and dad's love and all the consistently wonderful things we have given him and come to a rational conclusion when offered the next adventure. Mom and dad must have something wonderful for me here. Yet, in my personal Christian experience I would hope that maturity might give me a better response.
In moments like these I understand how kids reveal the truth about ourselves. The layers are pulled back and we begin to see what others and God see so clearly. She still doesn't trust the way she should considering x, y, z, at least not yet. Thank goodness He isn't done with me yet. Now, with open eyes I can begin to replace the false picture and responses with the real.
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